Omoni (![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png)
yukinoomoni) wrote2011-02-25 07:49 pm
yukinoomoni) wrote2011-02-25 07:49 pm
Entry tags:
For fuck's sake
Am I the only chubby woman in the entire world that doesn't give a fuck about it?
Am I the only chubby woman in the entire world that accepts it? That realises that it's just a part of who I am?
Am I the only chubby woman in the entire world that would rather focus on more important things, like love and respect and a good book, than how many people think I'm pretty or want to fuck me? That my worth is not - and should not - be based on how many people look at me? That there is more to me than what you see?
Am I the only chubby woman in the entire world that accepts that some people are just fat? And that no amount of help, asked for or otherwise, will change that, because that is just how they are?
Am I the only chubby woman who does not feel threatened or mean-spirited about other women who are thinner than me? Who does not bitch about being fat all the time? Who is not obsessed over what she eats unless it involves my health? Who will never judge a woman fatter than me?
Am I the only chubby woman who will never gloss over my being a chubby woman? Who resents it when people tell me, "Oh, you're not chubby/fat/overweight" out of some kind of preconceived consideration for my feelings, when my feelings won't be hurt if called any of those things?
Am I the only chubby woman in this entire world that was once skinny and preferred to be able to eat things I liked rather than denying a few pleasures just to be what people want me to be? That loves a good cake and is never sorry for eating it? That will never apoligise for having a second helping of pie if I can?
People are different. We all are different. So why am I the only one who seems to get that this also includes weight?
Am I the only chubby woman in the entire world that accepts it? That realises that it's just a part of who I am?
Am I the only chubby woman in the entire world that would rather focus on more important things, like love and respect and a good book, than how many people think I'm pretty or want to fuck me? That my worth is not - and should not - be based on how many people look at me? That there is more to me than what you see?
Am I the only chubby woman in the entire world that accepts that some people are just fat? And that no amount of help, asked for or otherwise, will change that, because that is just how they are?
Am I the only chubby woman who does not feel threatened or mean-spirited about other women who are thinner than me? Who does not bitch about being fat all the time? Who is not obsessed over what she eats unless it involves my health? Who will never judge a woman fatter than me?
Am I the only chubby woman who will never gloss over my being a chubby woman? Who resents it when people tell me, "Oh, you're not chubby/fat/overweight" out of some kind of preconceived consideration for my feelings, when my feelings won't be hurt if called any of those things?
Am I the only chubby woman in this entire world that was once skinny and preferred to be able to eat things I liked rather than denying a few pleasures just to be what people want me to be? That loves a good cake and is never sorry for eating it? That will never apoligise for having a second helping of pie if I can?
People are different. We all are different. So why am I the only one who seems to get that this also includes weight?
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I tried to explain it to her and she says I'm rationalizing. What guy would want me? A mentally ill one? I'm slovenly, lazy (remember the above information) and weak. No one will want me, no one will hire me, no one will love me, me being overweight gave my grandfather cancer (which he beat, without me losing weight), she moo-s at me, she counts how many raisins I eat, I basically overachieve to make sure I have some self worth.
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Mum's very image conscious. I'm more heart conscious.
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And I'm sure you're hotter than you give yourself credit for.
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I wanted to say mean things about her but then I decided not to because I think figuring she's just a really jealous person is enough. I don't know your mom so maybe I can't say she's jealous that you're smart or something but maybe she's just jealous you're accomplished. From what you've described it all just sounds like envy and jealousy.
Don't let a person like that-even if it's your own mother-get to you.
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In other words, control freak.