Other things

I finally got a govenment cheque today. Finally!

I'm going in to confirm my piano lessons and set up a schedule!

That's it, that's all I've got. Besides feeling shitty and all, I suppose.

Other things

I finally got a govenment cheque today. Finally!

I'm going in to confirm my piano lessons and set up a schedule!

That's it, that's all I've got. Besides feeling shitty and all, I suppose.

I don't get it

I don't get why people are making me feel guilty over this friends cut I made. I didn't deny one bit that it was selfish, but instead of protesting, they're making me feel like shit. A simple "do not cut" would have sufficed.

The simple fact of the matter is that making me feel worse doesn't help. In fact, it makes me feel alienated and isolated, and it makes me just want to delete this fucking thing altogether.

The one thing that everyone focused on was the fact that people got cut. If you don't want to be cut, say something, but don't make me feel like a pile of shit for having the feelings I do. I'm sure you would feel the same way in my place.

EDIT: And yet, I'm such a stupid idiot that no wonder people get upset with me. I honestly do not blame anyone for being pissed. I'm such a fucking idiot, I don't blame anyone for not wanting a thing to do with me. So don't worry. No matter what was said, I'm far, far worse than that, and it's all my fault anyways.

Bottom line: My problem is many things. I'm a drama whore. I'm a perpetual victim, and I'm a coward. This means the following:

I let people take advantage of me, I throw up a huge stink about it, and then I run away from it all. That's what I am.

I don't get it

I don't get why people are making me feel guilty over this friends cut I made. I didn't deny one bit that it was selfish, but instead of protesting, they're making me feel like shit. A simple "do not cut" would have sufficed.

The simple fact of the matter is that making me feel worse doesn't help. In fact, it makes me feel alienated and isolated, and it makes me just want to delete this fucking thing altogether.

The one thing that everyone focused on was the fact that people got cut. If you don't want to be cut, say something, but don't make me feel like a pile of shit for having the feelings I do. I'm sure you would feel the same way in my place.

EDIT: And yet, I'm such a stupid idiot that no wonder people get upset with me. I honestly do not blame anyone for being pissed. I'm such a fucking idiot, I don't blame anyone for not wanting a thing to do with me. So don't worry. No matter what was said, I'm far, far worse than that, and it's all my fault anyways.

Bottom line: My problem is many things. I'm a drama whore. I'm a perpetual victim, and I'm a coward. This means the following:

I let people take advantage of me, I throw up a huge stink about it, and then I run away from it all. That's what I am.

Whatever

Fuck it. Back to our regularly scheduled programing.

I went to my piano lessons consultation today, and the dude (who reminded me both of my father and my 7th grade music teacher) seemed pretty impressed with my ability to play by ear, but was confused when I admitted that the Bass Cleft was white noise. I should meet my teacher in two weeks.

Another thing that's coming in two weeks: my new glasses. I FINALLY got my eyes tested yesterday and discovered that, yes, they are sucking more, and yes, I need a new perscription. So I got it, and decided to get new frames as well. I'll post before and after pics when they come in, but they're weird-looking and purple (or "raison"). And they were on sale, so instead of $489 they only cost me $249. Thank you Terry!

I'm going batshit! This hair-growing thing is making me insane! I'm trying VERY HARD to be strong, and the very idea of going to a salon makes me insane and wary, but IT'S MAKING ME INSANE!!!

Now, writing.

Whatever

Fuck it. Back to our regularly scheduled programing.

I went to my piano lessons consultation today, and the dude (who reminded me both of my father and my 7th grade music teacher) seemed pretty impressed with my ability to play by ear, but was confused when I admitted that the Bass Cleft was white noise. I should meet my teacher in two weeks.

Another thing that's coming in two weeks: my new glasses. I FINALLY got my eyes tested yesterday and discovered that, yes, they are sucking more, and yes, I need a new perscription. So I got it, and decided to get new frames as well. I'll post before and after pics when they come in, but they're weird-looking and purple (or "raison"). And they were on sale, so instead of $489 they only cost me $249. Thank you Terry!

I'm going batshit! This hair-growing thing is making me insane! I'm trying VERY HARD to be strong, and the very idea of going to a salon makes me insane and wary, but IT'S MAKING ME INSANE!!!

Now, writing.