Hm

[yukinoomoni]

Also, I've noticed that, due to the internet going down at work, I've been using LJ less and less. I also found that, while I enjoy reading my LJ, I don't really care as much. No one comments much here, and while that sounds like bitching, it's not. I know you all have lives. But at the same time, I wonder if I even have an audience, or if I'm writing here more for other people rather than myself.

It's really something to think about, anyway. Because of my sensitivity paired with LJ, I've caused myself alot of pain and angst over bullshit. So I wonder, why am I writing here?

I got an LJ, ultimately, for Terry. He was the one who gave me a code, and we used LJ to write to eachother and about eachother. As time progressed, it graduated to something to angst in, to write about daily occurances, and also for writing and posting pure crap.

But now?

I've been having this feeling lately that electronics will be going down. I don't know why, so I've been trying to limit my usage as much as possible. That being said, I don't to lose contact with people that I care about. I remember pushing so many people to get LJ to communicate with me, only to find those journals abandoned or unadded.

So what was the point?

I suppose I'll keep writing. I always have alot to say. And I really should be using this for myself over others, but I do like knowing that people are reading about me, learning about me, and knowing that I'm okay.

Bu-lah. Whatever. You all know that once I get the internet back at work I'll be back to posting like a retard every day. But it's still interesting to think about, don't you think?

Comments

[littlelippy.livejournal.com]

i try to comment as much as I can...but I dont see you comment on my entries as much as before! (not that I mind, but...*points this current posts*)

[ether-rag.livejournal.com]

i love your entries, i'm just a bad commenter..

[takashi-jo.livejournal.com]

It is the audience thing, isn't it? The people you want to comment never do so when you're want them to, or they comment the wrong way, and telepathy never works. I mean, you can't just point to people and say, "SAY SOMETHING". I've decided that people will say what they will, whenever they will.

Some people can be social butterflies on the internet, but I don't think relying heavily on the Internet for social things is a good habit. Maybe to get them started, sure, but people should have something in real life to fall back on. I mean, the postal system is one such invention, but you know what I mean, right?

...I think it's fine to be friends with people whether you're two bus passengers going to different destinations or not. It's the way you meet a lot of interesting people, and the only way for you to get out of a cramped social situation is to change the scenery. The main dangers are where people try to know everyone and end up knowing no one, or if people can only view relationships as passing things.

In the modern world, relationships are less built-in to things, so people are expected to make use of the freedom they have to find something that satisfies them. But that freedom feels more like a box when you don't know what to do with it or even what you want out of a relationship.

If people don't follow the crowd, presumably they "deserve" the sense of alienation that comes from it, but I don't buy that. I hate people who fit themselves into a crowd. Of course, calling people "the crowd" with distaste is a sign that you don't like these crowds people seem to fit into... The reason why I wonder if I'm arrogant is partly because I'm not interested in people who are quick to follow norms.

...basically, if some hypothetical person is talking about how funny "that one episode of The Family Guy" is, then pulls out an iPod, s/he isn't going to look really interesting to me. There's also a lot of people on campus who gleefully flout norms, but there's a fine line between acting weird and actually having individuality. I think the end result is that I end up feeling pretty dismissive of strangers.

I don't know, hearing strangers talking about how good something popular is makes me annoyed. They call it "small talk" but I just get this image of everyone watching the same thing, discussing the same damn show everyone else watches, and I can't tell if they do this out of laziness or because it's easier to agree on which movie to go to if you're not too particular about it. It just makes me feel that everyone would turn generic if they were all this way, even though I might be pointing at people and calling names.

[secondlina.livejournal.com]

Meh, most people have more readers then they think, it's just that there is very little commenting.

The writting really ain't bad at all though, that's why I read XD